"It's not always about need," Billy said with a small smile, but he didn't push. That's a hard one for Soldier. And Billy does try to understand.
He waivered between trying not to pry and stealing a curious glance at the page as Soldier wrote, smiling a bit shyly and nodding at the question. "Some of them," he admits, "The ones with loved one and...family and stuff. I like...showing people I love them, in...lame little ways.
"Maybe." Very often the Soldier discarded his preferences, his wants, in favor of needs. Instead of voicing that he instead split the cupcake and offered Billy half.
"Hmm..." A noncommittal sound, because the Soldier didn't hold much to the same kinds of traditions that others seemed to keep. "You enjoy it and still call it lame?"
The cupcake almost tasted too sweet; the Soldier rarely partook of such things. But he appreciated the treat nonetheless, especially with the sentiment behind it.
"I would think that it's your opinion that matters, and not anyone else. You should like what you like, not feel shame for it. If someone finds it lame that's their problem, not yours." Shades of the Soldier's own feelings about his existence; perhaps in part why they got along so well.
...how did you even read that mess of a tag i wrote, omg
"I'm working on it," Billy promised, and he had improved over time, owning himself far more than he had in highschool. Though obviously some of that had stuck with him. It was hard to shake.
"I do like some traditional stuff. Especially now, I guess? Being away from home and family for so long...I wanna recreate some of the things I might have rolled my eyes at before."
"I know." Billy definitely had changed in the time the Soldier had known him. He probably played a small part; they'd been training together for some time. But most of it was Billy himself.
"Like what?" He didn't consider how much of a loaded question that might be.
"Mmm...well, like birthdays. All the holiday stuff, really....Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Those really cheesy Rom-Com movies people used to watch on date, I would honestly kill for one of those now. Or a date." He laughed, cheeks going pink.
The Soldier listened patiently to Billy's list, though it became clear that he couldn't help with a single thing. He barely remembered doing any of those things, if ever he did. He had practically no frame of reference from which to offer assistance. "I suppose it's good, to miss things. You have something to hold onto. A goal."
Billy nodded, but looking over Soldier's face there was a twinge of guilt. "...New things are fun too," he added with a small, pointed smile. "Do you have any goals for this year? Something new you want to try?"
"New things like getting trapped in the hangar?" He was still angry at the Agrii about that. The storm and its effects might not be their fault directly but in the absence of a root cause, there was nowhere else to direct his ire. And the Agrii were cagey about sharing any information.
Still, he didn't mean to bring down the mood with memories of that experience. "I don't know."
Billy gave a bit of a bitter laugh at the memory. It wasn't a good one. ...Mostly. There were a few parts he would hold on to, though he wished they'd come about a different way.
"Was thinking more fun things," he said with a soft smile, "Like...learn to draw, or...have a...space picnic." He made a face at his less that perfect examples.
"In this place? I don't trust the Agrii not to twist it all around. Or to deploy me again. It's been a while but I don't think that means an end to it." A useful tool might be put on a shelf for some time but never truly forgotten. And he couldn't forget that weird warning (threat?) from the figure in the storm. "Enough is enough, with those possibilities."
He wasn't wrong. Soldier echoed the same thoughts and worried that Billy couldn't shake, and despite his nod there was a distant and someone sad expression that came with it. Maybe it was stupid to hope for more than enough here. Or cruel to wish it for Soldier when it might be another thing to be stolen away from him.
"Yeah..." Billy murmured, clearly weighing those words heavily.
"You shouldn't let my words bring down your mood," he said, glancing sideways at Billy. "You meant this to be a pleasant surprise, not a sad one. Tell me what sort of traditional thing we can do."
Given that the Soldier would have let the day go unmarked, his own suggestions tended toward training activities more than fun. He doubted Billy wanted to spend the whole day so occupied.
"No, sorry, just...thinking," Billy promised, putting on a smile for Soldier.
"We um...we did cake. Did a wish. I didn't sing, but without a crowd forcing it on you it isn't really the same. ...I guess a lot of the traditional birthday stuff is more group oriented... Mmm."
He got a bit of a mischievous look on his face, and waved his fingers at Soldier, a blue glow affixing a party hat to his head and making Billy's smile grow a little more. "That's helps."
"The whole point is to..." he hesitated, searching for an appropriate word. "Embarrass someone with a spectacle?" Maybe best to leave the occasion unmarked, in his opinion. He had no desire to be subjected to a singing crowd and whatever other mischief that entailed.
Mischief that apparently included a silly paper hat perched suddenly atop his head. He decided then that birthday traditions were just weird. "You're teasing now."
"That seems like it has the potential to be uncomfortable. I am glad there is no additional audience today." Truly the Soldier would have been happy to let the day pass unmarked, but considered Billy's keeping it private a great gift indeed.
"It looks ridiculous." But it made Billy happy, which mattered more than appearances. "You're still teasing."
"That is my preference." Not that anyone would want to celebrate someone shown to be a liability. The Soldier had found new reason to keep himself away from others in the wake of Beck's actions.
"It makes you happy." That mattered more than the presence of the hat, though he felt glad enough to have it gone. "And hopefully feeling better?"
"It does," Billy agreed with a small smile. "And I am. But my goal for today is to make you happy, remember? Maybe see that smile...?" He gives a teasing grin. "Maybe even actually relax for a minute or two?"
"If I'm happy just by your presence?" He shrugged; the memory of being trapped during the storm still felt fresh so the fact that the weather was clear and calm made all the difference now. "We don't have to just stay here and sit. We could take a walk if you want. Not a training walk, you can have the day off."
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He waivered between trying not to pry and stealing a curious glance at the page as Soldier wrote, smiling a bit shyly and nodding at the question. "Some of them," he admits, "The ones with loved one and...family and stuff. I like...showing people I love them, in...lame little ways.
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"Hmm..." A noncommittal sound, because the Soldier didn't hold much to the same kinds of traditions that others seemed to keep. "You enjoy it and still call it lame?"
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He laugh and nodded. "I am a very lame person. I've learned to embrace some of it. Don't tell Tommy."
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"I would think that it's your opinion that matters, and not anyone else. You should like what you like, not feel shame for it. If someone finds it lame that's their problem, not yours." Shades of the Soldier's own feelings about his existence; perhaps in part why they got along so well.
...how did you even read that mess of a tag i wrote, omg
"I do like some traditional stuff. Especially now, I guess? Being away from home and family for so long...I wanna recreate some of the things I might have rolled my eyes at before."
You're fine
"Like what?" He didn't consider how much of a loaded question that might be.
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Still, he didn't mean to bring down the mood with memories of that experience. "I don't know."
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"Was thinking more fun things," he said with a soft smile, "Like...learn to draw, or...have a...space picnic." He made a face at his less that perfect examples.
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"I train," he shrugged. "I patrol, sometimes. Make sure none of the more dangerous creatures decide to settle in. It's enough."
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"...don't you want more than 'enough' sometimes?"
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"Yeah..." Billy murmured, clearly weighing those words heavily.
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Given that the Soldier would have let the day go unmarked, his own suggestions tended toward training activities more than fun. He doubted Billy wanted to spend the whole day so occupied.
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"We um...we did cake. Did a wish. I didn't sing, but without a crowd forcing it on you it isn't really the same. ...I guess a lot of the traditional birthday stuff is more group oriented... Mmm."
He got a bit of a mischievous look on his face, and waved his fingers at Soldier, a blue glow affixing a party hat to his head and making Billy's smile grow a little more. "That's helps."
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Mischief that apparently included a silly paper hat perched suddenly atop his head. He decided then that birthday traditions were just weird. "You're teasing now."
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He grinned, showing his teeth and shaking his head. "It looks cute." He magics one onto his own head. "Better?"
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"It looks ridiculous." But it made Billy happy, which mattered more than appearances. "You're still teasing."
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He put on a brief- pretend pout, but magicked the hats away again with a smile. "I'll stop," he promised.
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"It makes you happy." That mattered more than the presence of the hat, though he felt glad enough to have it gone. "And hopefully feeling better?"
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He licked a spot of chocolate from his thumb and dusted off any remaining cupcake crumbs. "How's your day been, you know...before I ambushed you?"
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