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Entry tags:
IC Contact | The Revival Project
you know what to do
you know what to do
Sansa considers herself a rational person and being upset about such an irrational thing worries at her until she cannot keep it to herself any longer. She isn't interested in turning people against Tony, necessarily, but she is hurt and she wants to express her hurt to someone who would never tell.
James is the person who would never tell.
She leaves the baby with Daenerys before finding him and while she rarely has to ask for the private audience, she makes a point of doing it now. Even on this crowded ship, there are places to be alone.
"Do you mind talking to someone all bruised up and battered?" Physically, from the fight during the rescue but in her heart a little, too, even if he doesn't know about that bit yet.
James is the person who would never tell.
She leaves the baby with Daenerys before finding him and while she rarely has to ask for the private audience, she makes a point of doing it now. Even on this crowded ship, there are places to be alone.
"Do you mind talking to someone all bruised up and battered?" Physically, from the fight during the rescue but in her heart a little, too, even if he doesn't know about that bit yet.
The Soldier has a very good talent in finding places of solitude even in crowded environs. Part of it is his ability to keep to a strange schedule, awake when others typically sleep. Part of it is likely the resting murder face, as Loki once called his don't-fuck-with-me expression. That and the fact that he's always armed, and not afraid to let his hand rest on the hilt of his combat knives.
It usually gets the message across.
This particular day finds him working out; in particular, he's doing one-armed push ups and counting softly to himself with each repetition. He looks to the side when he hears Sansa's footfalls but doesn't stop until she speaks, letting his knees find the floor and pushing himself up to a kneeling position.
"That depends on if those bruises require attention." She certainly doesn't have his accelerated metabolism and heals much slower than he would; as such, he doesn't want her to avoid attention to injuries if she needs it. But he also trusts her to be honest with him about them.
It usually gets the message across.
This particular day finds him working out; in particular, he's doing one-armed push ups and counting softly to himself with each repetition. He looks to the side when he hears Sansa's footfalls but doesn't stop until she speaks, letting his knees find the floor and pushing himself up to a kneeling position.
"That depends on if those bruises require attention." She certainly doesn't have his accelerated metabolism and heals much slower than he would; as such, he doesn't want her to avoid attention to injuries if she needs it. But he also trusts her to be honest with him about them.
"Ah, no, these will heal," Sansa says. They've already begun to knit up with some rest and she knows they'll heal clean. It's bad experiences that have taught her this, yes, but her body can heal even when other things cannot.
"It was something more personal - personal of mine, I mean. I wouldn't ask you to divulge anything but I need to divest myself of something that's hurting me and you're the only person I can trust not to say anything to anyone. You're the only one who knows me in and out and will understand my hurt. At least, I hope you will."
He might tell her she's being silly, true, but she trusts it more from the soldier than others.
"It was something more personal - personal of mine, I mean. I wouldn't ask you to divulge anything but I need to divest myself of something that's hurting me and you're the only person I can trust not to say anything to anyone. You're the only one who knows me in and out and will understand my hurt. At least, I hope you will."
He might tell her she's being silly, true, but she trusts it more from the soldier than others.
"If you are sure." She wouldn't under-exaggerate her injuries, not to him, so he'll allow it to drop. But in deference to her bruises he rolls to his feet and leads her to where they could sit more comfortably; he certainly can't expect her to join him on the floor, even though he knows she would.
Once they settle, he looks her over with a more critical eye while re-tying the tail holding his hair back from his face. "All this build up must mean it's bothering you more than you're letting on. You know I won't judge you."
Once they settle, he looks her over with a more critical eye while re-tying the tail holding his hair back from his face. "All this build up must mean it's bothering you more than you're letting on. You know I won't judge you."
As ever, he reads her better than she can read him. Although, in her defense, she isn't sure many people could get as much out of her soldier as she's managed and she's not one to pry. Not when she knows how preciously guarded privacy and secrets are.
"I warn you, you'll think it's a little ridiculous for a woman of my nature but...I finally trusted someone with my body. Someone who wasn't Tyrion, someone I assumed thought well of me. Tony Stark has been flattering me for months and so I let him into my bed. I tried not to make anything of it, gave him the space he wanted and didn't push any sort of serious relationship - as he seemed to want - and he rejected me after we shared a bed."
Sansa draws herself inward as much as she can, trying to make herself small. She wants to be small and hide with this but she's telling James for a reason.
"He saw what Ramsay did to me, all the scars. Who would want someone so ill-used as me, right? Anyone would do the same and choose someone else."
"I warn you, you'll think it's a little ridiculous for a woman of my nature but...I finally trusted someone with my body. Someone who wasn't Tyrion, someone I assumed thought well of me. Tony Stark has been flattering me for months and so I let him into my bed. I tried not to make anything of it, gave him the space he wanted and didn't push any sort of serious relationship - as he seemed to want - and he rejected me after we shared a bed."
Sansa draws herself inward as much as she can, trying to make herself small. She wants to be small and hide with this but she's telling James for a reason.
"He saw what Ramsay did to me, all the scars. Who would want someone so ill-used as me, right? Anyone would do the same and choose someone else."
When she finishes speaking he stays silent for a long moment, considering the weight of her words and the uniqueness of her situation. Finally he stands and shifts around to her other side, sitting so that he can put his flesh-and-blood arm around her shoulders. He'll not try to pull her out of her defensive curl, that's not what she needs, but he can add another layer of defense on top of it.
"You immediately blame yourself and not him. Why?" Gently he tugs a lock of her hair, straightening out one of the waves before allowing it to spring back.
"You immediately blame yourself and not him. Why?" Gently he tugs a lock of her hair, straightening out one of the waves before allowing it to spring back.
"I didn't demand anything of him," Sansa says, leaning in against his touch. "He called me sweet names and I called him those in return. I gave him space, didn't force him to acknowledge me publicly. I wasn't pushy. I comforted him when he was upset and in his cups. I thought those were things men liked. Tyrion liked them - well, the last one. He was proud to be with me."
Tyrion was always happy to show her off, to show the world that he loved her. This new world without him is more difficult to navigate and Sansa isn't sure what to do with it sometimes.
"I haven't felt like a whore since Ramsay and it's different this time because I chose it. I made the mistake of trusting someone other than you or Tyrion."
Tyrion was always happy to show her off, to show the world that he loved her. This new world without him is more difficult to navigate and Sansa isn't sure what to do with it sometimes.
"I haven't felt like a whore since Ramsay and it's different this time because I chose it. I made the mistake of trusting someone other than you or Tyrion."
He can't help a small smile at the mention of Tyrion. He hadn't known the man well, but it was easy to see how much he cared for Sansa.
"Where I am from, people engage in sexual acts simply for the enjoyment of physical sensation and with no intention of pursuing more of a relationship. It does not make you a whore." He squeezes her gently, trying to be mindful of the bruises. "I am not defending him, but it could be a difference in culture. I could not imagine anyone who has seen such glimpses of the kindness in your soul would leave you because of your physical shell."
Though he doesn't voice it, it's likely clear from his tone how little he thinks of anyone who would do as such. "His actions are his own. That he chose to end association means only that he does not realize what he will be missing in your talent and wit and heart."
"Where I am from, people engage in sexual acts simply for the enjoyment of physical sensation and with no intention of pursuing more of a relationship. It does not make you a whore." He squeezes her gently, trying to be mindful of the bruises. "I am not defending him, but it could be a difference in culture. I could not imagine anyone who has seen such glimpses of the kindness in your soul would leave you because of your physical shell."
Though he doesn't voice it, it's likely clear from his tone how little he thinks of anyone who would do as such. "His actions are his own. That he chose to end association means only that he does not realize what he will be missing in your talent and wit and heart."
"I shouldn't have given it to him," Sansa says, keeping herself as close to the soldier as he'll allow. He comforts her like no one else and it feels as if he's a missing part of her, in ways, and she wishes she'd come to him with it earlier instead of letting it fester.
"I just thought a man who told me I deserved everything I wanted wouldn't leave me when I told him that he was what I wanted. Men are liars, though, and I've always known that. I shouldn't have trusted another one to tell me pretty words and mean them. He's not a man like you or Tyrion."
Sansa suspects there's few men of that caliber left in the world and she doesn't think Tony Stark is among them. She takes comfort in the soldier's arms for a moment before speaking again.
"He doesn't even deserve my name. Do you think I can rename a person a bastard even though I'm not a queen here? Because if I can make you a Stark, I can make him into a Snow. Even if it's between us."
"I just thought a man who told me I deserved everything I wanted wouldn't leave me when I told him that he was what I wanted. Men are liars, though, and I've always known that. I shouldn't have trusted another one to tell me pretty words and mean them. He's not a man like you or Tyrion."
Sansa suspects there's few men of that caliber left in the world and she doesn't think Tony Stark is among them. She takes comfort in the soldier's arms for a moment before speaking again.
"He doesn't even deserve my name. Do you think I can rename a person a bastard even though I'm not a queen here? Because if I can make you a Stark, I can make him into a Snow. Even if it's between us."
"Did you take pleasure from it?" If Tony had hurt her in the act, well, that will certainly complicate things. But he gets the impression that the hurt is only emotional — still not a small thing, but considering Sansa's unique history with physical intimacy, an unpleasant tumble between the sheets would likely complicate her heart even more. "He did not hurt you in that, did he?"
If he did, well, the Soldier was going to need to have a conversation with Tony.
"His platitude may have been false, or he may never have believed you would ask him for himself. Regardless, I feel it is better we have learned his heart so soon, and before you became more entangled with him." As much as she's hurting, it would be worse if this had been a longer relationship.
"You are still a queen, even if these are not your lands. I would think that entitles you to some control over your own history, and those who share your name." He's quiet a moment, considering. "Rewrite your story to cast him as a concubine you've deemed not worth the trouble, if you so desire it. You are a queen. You have that power."
If he did, well, the Soldier was going to need to have a conversation with Tony.
"His platitude may have been false, or he may never have believed you would ask him for himself. Regardless, I feel it is better we have learned his heart so soon, and before you became more entangled with him." As much as she's hurting, it would be worse if this had been a longer relationship.
"You are still a queen, even if these are not your lands. I would think that entitles you to some control over your own history, and those who share your name." He's quiet a moment, considering. "Rewrite your story to cast him as a concubine you've deemed not worth the trouble, if you so desire it. You are a queen. You have that power."
"He didn't hurt me in bed," Sansa says quietly. It's embarrassing, in a way, to be talking about this but she's always been able to talk to him about these things. Sometimes she thinks that the soldier is someone who knows her better than she knows herself. Still, it's important to make certain he knows she wasn't hurt physically; Sansa doesn't think anyone could win a fight against the soldier at all.
"I liked what happened. I just thought I was doing things the modern way. Women in my time are just married to one man after the other and I thought that I was being modern to be...willing to be casual about it. I was trying to be what I thought he wanted."
That, she thinks, might have been the problem all along. When he says that she can pretend Tony is a concubine who isn't worth her trouble, she cannot help but laugh. Still, if Kings can have concubines and whores, can't a Queen? He's not really wrong.
"Then he's Tony Snow," she says. "Even if it's just between us. He liked to spend time with James but I guess it's within my right to withhold that. That's why I thought...I don't know. I thought his words meant something because he was kind to my son. I didn't think a man could deceive me again."
"I liked what happened. I just thought I was doing things the modern way. Women in my time are just married to one man after the other and I thought that I was being modern to be...willing to be casual about it. I was trying to be what I thought he wanted."
That, she thinks, might have been the problem all along. When he says that she can pretend Tony is a concubine who isn't worth her trouble, she cannot help but laugh. Still, if Kings can have concubines and whores, can't a Queen? He's not really wrong.
"Then he's Tony Snow," she says. "Even if it's just between us. He liked to spend time with James but I guess it's within my right to withhold that. That's why I thought...I don't know. I thought his words meant something because he was kind to my son. I didn't think a man could deceive me again."
"You should only try to be what you want to be. Just because someone is casual about it, doesn't mean that you have to be."
Which goes for so many things, truly, but he supposes that he has particularly strong feelings about choosing one's own path and the decisions that feel right for oneself. He can't truly relate to how she's feeling, having no desire to share physical interactions with another, but he does understand the pressures that can come from not being what someone else expects.
He nods as she renames Tony in her view. That's important, he thinks; names and family ties mean much to her and this, he thinks, is a small step in her healing process. "You have the right to control your son's entire world, especially considering his age. You should do what's best for him; there seem to be plenty of others who would be a good role model that he will not lack for babysitters."
Which goes for so many things, truly, but he supposes that he has particularly strong feelings about choosing one's own path and the decisions that feel right for oneself. He can't truly relate to how she's feeling, having no desire to share physical interactions with another, but he does understand the pressures that can come from not being what someone else expects.
He nods as she renames Tony in her view. That's important, he thinks; names and family ties mean much to her and this, he thinks, is a small step in her healing process. "You have the right to control your son's entire world, especially considering his age. You should do what's best for him; there seem to be plenty of others who would be a good role model that he will not lack for babysitters."
"I'm sitting next to a role model," Sansa says, pressing a kiss against his temple. Talking to him almost always makes her feel better and she's glad she unburdened herself with him. Her soldier would never disparage her or think less of her so long as she does things for herself (she thinks) and she does love him.
"I love you, you know. You're the only person who understands me in and out. You don't think I'm ugly or weak because Ramsay nearly broke me. You don't judge my choices. You just care about me, in your way. You never ask me to be anything other than what I am."
And, in the same vein, she doesn't ask it of him. "I'm glad you came back. We take care of one another."
"I love you, you know. You're the only person who understands me in and out. You don't think I'm ugly or weak because Ramsay nearly broke me. You don't judge my choices. You just care about me, in your way. You never ask me to be anything other than what I am."
And, in the same vein, she doesn't ask it of him. "I'm glad you came back. We take care of one another."
Would you do me a favour if I asked nice enough? :)
I want to go to the 'Great Full' thing. But I think it'd be a lot more fun if you came with me. I promise I'll train extra hard, and magic you up anything you want, I just really want a friend there.
I am, yes. Is it working? :) Should I throw in more pretty please-es?
I'd really like to do this with you. If you're up for it.
It's a want more than a need. But I think it could be fun.
Spending time with a friend isn't so strange. One of my less strange attributes. :)
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